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Cookie Cutter Conscience

from Shameless Grapes by David Johnson

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lyrics

Even the fires of Hell
Couldn't burn away that churchy smell
From my family-friendly
Cookie cutter conscience
Two years of counseling
Didn't really seem to heal a thing
It just brought me a lot of guilt and depression
My teacher sure was right
When she walked by and caught my eye
"You're carrying something heavy on your back," she said
Her words were very true
A prison cell without a view
Can leave one with a lot of weighty loneliness

There was a plethora of things I never did right
So many reasons why I had to cry at night
When no one could hear me
I never looked anyone straight in the eye
I was afraid they would see the skeleton inside
And even I couldn't handle it

The very first friend I made
At my new school in the fifth grade
Was always there for me throughout it all
But when he heard I was gay
He told me that I had to pray
And when I wouldn't turn
He had to burn our friendship away

Years of memories down the drain
The truth was an empty picture frame to him
To all of them, for that matter
The gavel smacked and cracked the cold wood
And the verdict that I was devoid of good
Came from the Mad Hatter

I don't need holy wine
I don't need to apologize
For being just exactly what I am
I've shed my former skin
And I've found that the only sin
Is denying myself the right
To live my life

Here's to a place in the golden sun
Here's to a life that's still undone
But not broken
I won't jump through any more hoops
I won't settle for secondhand truth anymore
Anymore

credits

from Shameless Grapes, released May 8, 2010

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David Johnson Seattle, Washington

Acoustic pop music from Seattle.

profile photo by Watkins Photography:
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